It’s Never What You Thought It Would Be…

You think you know what it's going to be like, but you don't.

Not really.

That new business, new skill, new job position - it's never what you envisioned.

Reality always differs from expectations, and that's pretty typical of life. 

And a major reason for the disconnect? Lack of mentorship. You need someone who has traveled the path before you - experiencing the good, the bad, and the ugly - to lay it out transparently and break down the real picture. It will never replicate the wisdom that comes from personal experience, but a great mentor can help orient you and avoid pitfalls they themselves faced.

The Highs and Lows

I had a young accountant mentee in my office recently getting her first taste of on-the-job experience. Right from the outset, it wasn't at all what she thought it would be. I had to provide her with a realistic vision - the highs she could potentially experience, but also the low points and challenges she would inevitably face. Even though accounting was her chosen career path, her dream in a sense, she wasn't fully mentally prepared for what it would actually entail day-to-day.

You can't solely fixate on the high points and positive aspects, nor can you allow yourself to get mired in an overly negative mindset. Every position, task, endeavor or journey is filled with both positives and negatives in ample measure. Seek the full truth, efficiency, and mastery by being guided by a capable mentor.

The 5 M's 

It all comes down to how you conceptualize leadership and mentorship. Mentorship is paramount - it's part of what I call The 5 M's, which address: Mindset, Materials, Methodology, Mentoring itself, and Measured Growth. Your mentor shapes the proper reality-based mindset, imparts the most effective methodologies, equips you with the right tools and materials, and ensures your growth happens in a consistent, measurable fashion. All of these elements work in harmony to help you sharpen and extend your sphere of competency and influence as a leader.

When Reality Hits

When you finally realize that your preconceived notions didn't match up with the reality you experienced, don't let it demoralize you. Adjust your mindset - this is when the real learning process begins in earnest. Lean heavily on your mentor during this stage. Embrace the realities they revealed to you through hard-won experience.  

Keep persisting through the low points and periods of struggle. Your mentor has walked that same difficult path before you and can help guide you through. Ask questions, seek deeper understanding. This process of initiating and navigating the unexpected forges you into a truly experienced, situationally-aware professional.

Mentor Others

Once you've applied that hard-earned knowledge and experience, you'll then be able to steer others on a similar path as a mentor yourself. Shape their expectations appropriately from the outset and uplift your entire professional sphere toward a more cohesive, aligned vision of reality.

Pass on the wisdom gleaned from the low points so that others can better appreciate and capitalize on the high points when they arrive. Become the steady guide that you yourself once needed.

Find Your Mentor

Don't endeavor to go it alone and stumble blindly down an unmarked path. Secure an able mentor for yourself - someone who is battle-tested, with visible professional scars to show for it. Have them pull back the curtain and reveal the unvarnished truth of your chosen field from the very start. With radical transparency and wisdom imparted, you'll be equipped to thrive through any situation that arises.  You should always have a mentor, no matter the stage of life or business you are in. 

It's never going to be what you think at first. But with proper mentorship and guidance, you can make the reality you experience align with your original lofty expectations and visions. Find your mentor, and get after it with determination and resolve.

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